Why Did I Wait?

Goodness I'm sleepy. I'm trying to get my sleep schedule back to the way it should be. That means waking yp at like 5:30and going to bed around 9/9:30. Anyway,we only packed today so there was nothing exciting. My dreams from the last few days have been reay vivid and crazy. It must be anxiety.

Goodnight.

-Siobhan

Meh

The power is back. I'm happy that it's back, but at the same time, I really don't want to go to school on Thursday. I'm tired. My summer work isn't finished. I'm screwedddddddd.

So I plan on spending these next two days working.

Yes.

-Siobhan

We Are Powerless

Literally. Still no power. Right now I'm chilling at my Grandma's house, hogging her internet and about to use up her shower. I read all day yesterday, and it just feels so good to be connected again.

Luckily, if we don't have power by Thursday, that also means I don't have school, since I live right behind the school.

Kind of bittersweet? I think so.

-Siobhan

A Lack Of Power

Beimg my dedicated self, I found a way to blog even without power. But nothing really happened today anyway. I read a bunch of A Brief History Of Time by Stephem Hawking, as well as Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters. Fun fun. We haven't had power for over fifteen hours. We're supposedly going to be in the dark for three days... I'm not really thrilled.

Gonna go bac to reading now. Seeing as I've got nothing better to do.

Back to the books.

-Siobhan

Irene

Hurricane Irene is headed right to my doorstep. Literally. The projected route for the hurricane is right for Danbury, CT. Yay! I've actually never been through a hurricane before, so I'm not sure what to expect. I guess I'll find out tonight. Hopefully we don't lose power.

We went to see the house we're hopefully going to be living in. I'm not sure how I feel about it, to be quite honest. It needs a lot of work, and I just don't know. But right now I'm chilling around, going to look for a book online that I have to read for Poetry class, and I have to do some other stupid stuff. And stuff.

I feel like yesterday I kind of set myself up to fail. I'm not really good at committing to things. I have this crazy passion for writing, but I never seem to be able to finish what I start, which is really frustrating, because I love to write but I can't, but I love to, and it's this freaking endless cycle and I just want to like... die.

Right now I'm working on a new plot for a NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, it's in November, and it's a writing challenge to try and write 50,000 words during the month one one novel that you supposedly start and finish. I've been doing it for years, but I've never won.) and I think it's going to be a really good one, but only if I iron out some of the details. I don't want to talk about it much, because I really like the plot and I'm afraid of it getting stolen.

It just started raining again. I'm going to read Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of time now. We'll see what happens with the house. I'm really nervous about it.

I'm nervous about a lot of things, actually. School. Getting a job. Just being successful. I kind of had a breakdown today over something stupid, and all I wanted was my best friend to come and let me cry on his shoulder, because he always knows what to say. I love my Mom, but she like feels bad if I start to cry, and I don't need pity. I hate pity. I just need someone to tell me what to do so I can make it better without going "Oh, Siobhan." I really just hate that, and it makes me more upset.

I'm just really stressed out right now. I don't know how I'm going to deal with school this year. Maybe it'd be a better idea to do a NaNoWriYr. You know, do it for the whole year, rather than just for that month. We'll see what happens. I really need to get working. Hopefully I can finish this book tonight. Though I'm only like 30% in, so we'll see.

-Siobhan

Another New Beginning

What's this, my twelfth blog? Something like that. I don't even know. Something about the others wasn't... intimate enough for me. I needed someplace which was safe. Somewhere I could write down every little thought I had, and someplace where I could use names. I just needed somewhere where my days could be documented.

So. Siobhan XII. Not exactly the catchiest blog title, but, let's be honest: My creativity is kind of at a low right now.

I'm always so awful at these introduction things. Let's start with some facts about me, I guess?

Okay, fact one: I've had another blog: "Race Against Machines" for over a year now. I'd like to think that this blog is going to be my "personal" one, and that one can chill over there and stay where I blog about stupid issues that bother me, kind of like writing a column for a newspaper, except it's a blog. And it's on the internet. And absolutely no one will read it. Plus I'm not getting payed to write this.

Fact Two: I'm a writer. In case you couldn't tell. I have this way about me that's oddly sarcastic, and yet strangely fascinating. At least to me. I don't know, it's just this side of me that loves to be let out every once in a while, because it's so much fun to be able to sit down and become another character for a while. God, that sounds like I'm going to be starring in some freaky roleplaying porno.

Fact Three: I'm not going to be starring in some freaky roleplaying porno. At all. Ever. Out of the question. I really don't understand the fascination, to be quite honest. If you want it, do it yourself. Don't watch other people do it.

Fact Four: I'm entering my senior year in high school in approximately a week. Hip-hip hooray for me! One more year and I'm out of this place.

But that brings me to what I was really making this blog for, and that was blogging about the everyday shenanigans which I constantly battle with.

For starters, I've got oodles of summer work to do, some of which I haven't even started yet. I just can't wait. At all.

Fact Five: I'm fluent in sarcasm.

I also had to go to the doctor today. I felt kind of bad, because he had a stutter, but I almost wanted to say to him, "It's okay. Take your time. I can tell that your nervous, which is making you stutter, but you just need to breathe in and out. Deep breaths." But I didn't. Lucky for me, he gave me the most brutal diagnosis ever. Psoriasis.

According to him it's not a big deal. I've got this crazy like cream stuff to put on the back of my neck, but it should clear up soon. If only the prescriptions weren't so freaking expensive. They even tried to give us a card which would make the medication free, but you have to be over eighteen to use it. How unfair is that?

Fact Six: I turned seventeen on August 2nd.

We went for Indian food tonight. I kind of have a soft spot for one of the waiters who works there. Not that I'll act upon it or anything. I'm probably imagining it, but he seems to look at me a certain way and it makes me smile. Nothing serious, I don't want anything serious.

Fact Seven: I've been single since my freshman year, and for right now, I'm okay with it.

Right now I just want to pick up a good book, cuddle under my covers with my AC on and read until I fall asleep.

I hope I can keep this up daily. I've been slacking on my other blog. I really want to be consistent. Here's hoping.

-Siobhan