Irene

Hurricane Irene is headed right to my doorstep. Literally. The projected route for the hurricane is right for Danbury, CT. Yay! I've actually never been through a hurricane before, so I'm not sure what to expect. I guess I'll find out tonight. Hopefully we don't lose power.

We went to see the house we're hopefully going to be living in. I'm not sure how I feel about it, to be quite honest. It needs a lot of work, and I just don't know. But right now I'm chilling around, going to look for a book online that I have to read for Poetry class, and I have to do some other stupid stuff. And stuff.

I feel like yesterday I kind of set myself up to fail. I'm not really good at committing to things. I have this crazy passion for writing, but I never seem to be able to finish what I start, which is really frustrating, because I love to write but I can't, but I love to, and it's this freaking endless cycle and I just want to like... die.

Right now I'm working on a new plot for a NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, it's in November, and it's a writing challenge to try and write 50,000 words during the month one one novel that you supposedly start and finish. I've been doing it for years, but I've never won.) and I think it's going to be a really good one, but only if I iron out some of the details. I don't want to talk about it much, because I really like the plot and I'm afraid of it getting stolen.

It just started raining again. I'm going to read Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of time now. We'll see what happens with the house. I'm really nervous about it.

I'm nervous about a lot of things, actually. School. Getting a job. Just being successful. I kind of had a breakdown today over something stupid, and all I wanted was my best friend to come and let me cry on his shoulder, because he always knows what to say. I love my Mom, but she like feels bad if I start to cry, and I don't need pity. I hate pity. I just need someone to tell me what to do so I can make it better without going "Oh, Siobhan." I really just hate that, and it makes me more upset.

I'm just really stressed out right now. I don't know how I'm going to deal with school this year. Maybe it'd be a better idea to do a NaNoWriYr. You know, do it for the whole year, rather than just for that month. We'll see what happens. I really need to get working. Hopefully I can finish this book tonight. Though I'm only like 30% in, so we'll see.

-Siobhan